new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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