I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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