hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
