Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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