Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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