Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
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