I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Non-Jews are for practice
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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