just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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