he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
