mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
