I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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