but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
