Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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