I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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