i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
