No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
