Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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