White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
