mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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