How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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