he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
