Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
