i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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