the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
