batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
