Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
