Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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