To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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