Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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