hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Screwed.edu
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
