I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
even my farts smell like vagina
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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