butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
COCAINE IS GR8
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
