He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
