you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
