wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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