Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
