He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
