she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize