It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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