I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
