Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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