i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
