was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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