He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
