It's like God shit irony all over that family
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
