U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
