once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
