Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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