It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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