If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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